Welcome Back
by rozisa
Summary: Sorry, terrible title, CoE spoiler. Sequel to 26 Planets. Owen and Diane are sharing a flat and then one day, the children say "We are coming." Owen finds himself returning to Torchwood.
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: I don't own Torchwood. If I did, Tosh, Owen and Ianto wouldn't have died. Owen and Ianto live in this one. Sorry, Tosh. I love you, but - and with Owen, live is debatable. :)

xxxx

"The U.K. doesn't have slavery. Your bank account was reopened and you received three months back wages for an entry-level position." Jack put the chequebook on top of Owen's trunk. "Since no one has a record of the hours you worked, I paid for full-time wages."

"Since I don't sleep and telly gets boring, I worked close to 70 to 80 hours a week," said Owen.

"Which you were happily doing for free," said Jack.

"I'm not sure what I am going to do with the money," said Owen.

"You'll buy new clothes and get more make-up," said Jack. "And buy a cologne. When you worked for Torchwood, no one outside work knew you were dead. You're the doctor. You can figure out what cosmetics you need to look more life-like."

"I can also show Diane around. I need to find her a married man with money to blow."

"Show her around," said Jack. "Take her to films and show her which DVD's she needs to learn pop culture."

"_Monty Python_ is a must," said Owen. "_Bridget Jones_, the books. The film starred an American."

Jack gave him a look.

"You taught yourself an American accent to pull off a con and kept it," said Owen. "We need to sit down with all the Disney films, except _Mary Poppins_. Dick Van Dyke murders the English language in that film."

"I'll sit her down for that one." Jack started humming a_ Spoonful of Sugar_.

"The Beatles," said Owen. "Elvis Presley. Michael Jackson. Google and computers in general. Do I look that bad?"

"You shine a bit in bright light. Indoor lighting like now, you're fine, but you can do better. You've always cared about your appearance."

"Jack, I can count on your honesty." Owen looked at his hands. "I'll have to ask Gwen to give Diane Emma's number. Diane has been a bit down since Miss Earheart was relocated to the United States."

xxxx

Owen walked inside a mortuary and smiled at the clerk. "Do you know any cosmeticians? Or do any come highly recommended for beautifying corpses?"

"Are you some kind of pervert?"

"No, I'm not a pervert," said Owen. "The make-up advice is for me. I can handle a bit of foundation and rouge, but I figured it wouldn't hurt to have an expert make me up the first time."

"You're not dead," said the clerk. "I can see you breathing."

"My muscles work, so my diaphragm hasn't got the message." Owen smiled to ease the tension. "My heart doesn't beat though; then a bullet stopped it awhile ago. I can show you the wound. I decided to call because you would have hung up on me if I phoned."

The clerk said, "I'm about ready to phone the police."

"Ask for PC Andy Davidson," said Owen. "He knows me."

"Are you mental?"

"Yes." Owen lived in a mental hospital. Getting into a cage with a Weevil wasn't the behavior of a sane man. He's been disturbed since experiencing Lizzie's rape and he was, probably, not all that sane before that, thinking about when he told Gwen he tortures people in happy relationships. "But I'm also dead and in need of a makeover."

"If I give you some names, will you leave me alone?"

"That's all I ask. My boss -" Owen was about to say former boss, but he was back on payroll with a large lump sum payment for three months back-pay. "- commented that I always cared about my appearance before."

xxxx

After Owen called around, he went to the house of a Barbara the person the clerk recommended recommended. After the hellos, she asked Owen to turn around.

"I like the black jacket. Nice jeans," she said. "Your colouring says corpse. Most people don't see it because of our death avoidance culture, but I work with corpses on a regular basis. Also people tend to see what they believe they're seeing."

Owen didn't think he looked that bad. "The clerk at the funeral home thought I was a pervert."

"She must be new," said the woman.

"My hair doesn't grow, so no touching it," said Owen. "Not even a trim."

"No touching the hair," said Barbara. "Got it."

"I don't change," explained Owen. "I want you to teach me how to do my face in a manly way. I'm no drag queen."

Barbara offered him a seat in the kitchen. "Owen, I know this is uncomfortable for you."

Owen took the offered seat. "You have no idea."

"May I?" she touched his face. "You're wearing a vanish meant for treating lumber. We'll need to remove that first to have clean surface to work on."

After carefully removing the vanish, she made up his face using natural tones, so he would look make-up free. Then she used make-up remover to give him a blank slate. "Your turn. You can stay here or you can use a bathroom mirror like you would at home."

Owen did his face. "I need to do my hands and part of my arms or my face will look made-up."

After rolling up his sleeves, she did his hands, which included repairing his damaged hand. It didn't improve the function, but the hand looked good. Then she matched the colour halfway up his arms, on his neck and his chest to below the collar line. "Close your eyes. I'm going to spray you. With the sealant, dependant on the type of work you do, you should be good for a week or more."

"Can you make me up as a girl? I told you I'm no drag queen, but my boss is flaming and it would so freak him out. Do you have a wig?"

xxxx

Author's Note: Don't you love it when you say someone is mental and they agree with you? In my opinion, Owen was more than a little disturbed by the rape, but he didn't truly lose it until Diane left. Then he died and was bought back. And still he has a sense of humor and wants to do a practical joke on Jack, which I think is totally in character. YMMV.


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Note: I still don't own Torchwood. BBC does.

xxxx

Ianto asked the young woman, glancing at brochures at the tourist information desk, "May I help you?"

"Teaboy, Jack suggested I see someone about make-up," said the woman. "Do I look alive to you?"

"Very." Ianto smiled at the woman in the tight sweater, showing off a small but nice bosom. She was Owen's height and weight and had Owen's eye colour, but other than that she did not resemble Owen.

The woman put her hand on the desk. "The funeral beautician could restore my hand cosmetically, but still I don't have much function. You can't even see where I took a scalpel to it."

Ianto's mouth was going dry. "Owen?"

"Yes," said the woman. "Are you going to stare at my breasts all day or are you going to show me in? If you like my breasts so much, you can have them." She put her right hand to the top of her blouse like she was threatening to unbutton her blouse and pull her falsies out of her bra.

Ianto, finally, put the out to lunch sign on the door and locked the door. Then he let Owen into the hub.

xxxx

Owen greeted Gwen with a hug and whispered, "It's been too long."

"You look good," said Gwen.

"You, too. I should have told you that I survived the meltdown, but I didn't want it leaking to Jack." Owen continued to hug her. "If I wasn't dead, I would suggest some girl-on-girl action."

"What about Rhys?"

"That didn't stop you in the ventilation tube, the supply closet and the autopsy table." Owen kissed her cheek, thinking about all those times Gwen's legs and other body parts were wrapped around him. "I never shagged a girl on the autopsy table before you."

"You're so naughty."

"That's what you love about me," Owen whispered in her ear.

Gwen sat down and motioned for Owen to join her on the sofa. "Are you OK?"

"I had to channel my inner Lizzie to get my body to move right," explained Owen. "The ghost machine doesn't pick up normal emotions, so I'm in the ladies clothing store, crying and shaking all over reliving Ed Morgan following me to the bridge. The knife and the terror. His hands on my body."

"I'm sorry."

"Jack treated me like shit when he should have sent me to rape counseling. I should have retconned myself when I had the chance, but I didn't want to forget Lizzie. If I forget Lizzie, then it was all for nothing."

Gwen placed his bad hand on her lap. "Martha said it wouldn't heal."

"A bit of superglue, some mesh and a cosmetician who specialises in preparing bodies a lot worse than mine for open casket," said Owen. "I can't bend the finger I broke, but it looks beautiful."

"Owen, did you wait so long to see a cosmetician that she needed apply too much make-up to give you a good appearance as male?" How could Gwen think that when the only visible make-up was lipstick and eye make-up? The coverup had given him a good even skin tone, but he didn't look overly made-up.

Owen whispered in Gwen's ear. "I'm dressed like this to freak out Jack."

"Then it isn't permanent?"

"My beautician coated me with a thin layer of sealant. So it's permanent unless I have the sealant removed. She ended up colouring my whole body, so my healthy colour wouldn't end at my neck."

"You're beautiful," said Gwen. "Are you happy with the results?"

Owen nodded because, if he spoke, he would cry because he saw Lizzie in the mirror. He stood up and kissed Gwen's cheek. "If Jack isn't here, I'll go. See you around. Tell Martha and Mickey hi."

Jack walked over. "Gwen, who is your friend?"

Owen waved. "Hi, Jack."

"Don't say that on an airplane," Gwen teased.

"I could hear you two girls giggling from my office," said Jack.

"I do not giggle," said Owen.

Jack said, "You lost the falsetto."

Owen remembered to use a feminine voice. "How long were you listening in?"

"Long enough," said Jack. "I didn't mean to slight you when you were in crisis. Two years later and you're still affected by Lizzie's rape."

"I didn't watch the rape. I was Lizzie. You don't seem to get that. Ianto hides Lisa in the basement, jeopardising us all and you shag him," said Owen. "I'm shaking and hyperventilating and you send me home."

"Do you want to shag?" asked Jack.

"I don't fart or have sex." Owen, remembering to use a slight wiggle, started walking toward the doorway.

Holding hands, Mickey and Martha were entering the building.

Owen said, "So how are you doing at my old job?"

"Owen?" Martha said, looking him over.

"Jack told me use some of my back-pay to improve my appearance." Owen showed her his hand. "I can't get my function back, but it looks nice."

Martha looked over his hand. "Very nice."

"You and I are doctors. We didn't think out of the box when Barbara, who makes corpses presentable for viewing, saw my hand quite differently," said Owen. "She could have covered over my bullet wound, but I can hide that under my blouse."

"Some other time," said Martha.

"The option is there, but it has a certain shock value and it's part of me." Owen walked toward the autopsy table. "Did you find any alien technology as interesting as the singularity scalpel?"

Martha and Owen talked alien technology and medicine until Mickey announced rift activity.

Jack said, "Owen, you can teach the new kids a thing or two."

Owen blew Jack a kiss. "I need to be heading back to Flat Holm."

"What if some alien wants to steal your breath?" asked Jack.

"Then you blast them with your big gun unless you have doubts about the size of your weapon." Saying it in a falsetto, it sounded so vulgar, which was the point. Owen felt the key ring in his pocket. He was staff, free to come and go from the Flat Holm facility. "Barbara said the sealant was heat stable, so I should be able to return to my duties as laundress. I have sheets to fold."

xxxx

As Owen got a boat back to Holm Flat, he felt a bit guilty for not returning to Torchwood, but only a bit. The next day, he dressed then knocked on the door of Diane's room. "Rise and shine," shouted Owen. "Today we learn how to set up a free email account. If we still have time, we can learn use Google and Wikipedia to study 55 years of pop culture."

"Owen, some of us have to sleep," said Diane.

"You have a couple weeks before your first flying lesson," said Owen. "And you have 55 years of history to learn."

"Yes, Professor Harper," Diane moaned. "You being dead and all. I don't get to be naughty with the teacher."

Owen waited outside for Diane to finish dressing. Then they walked hand-in-hand to the mess hall. Owen sat quietly as he watched Diane eat.

"Whoever did your make-up is more talented then I," she said.

"I found her through a funeral home," said Owen. "She specialises in making corpses presentable for viewing."

"Owen, are you dressed like a girl because girls can get away with wearing more make-up to spite your comments about moisturising or is there some other reason?"

"Barbara had finished teaching me how to apply cosmetics and was about to use the sealant and I thought about Jack, practically, ordering me to improve my appearance and decided see how I looked with female make-up for shits and giggles," said Owen. "And I'm not dressed like a girl. I'm wearing my clothes."

"Yes, you are," said Diane. "My mistake."

His clothes with the addition of a bra, wig and falsies. "Finish eating your breakfast and we'll get started learning about computers."

"Can you still call you Owen?"

"You don't need to call me Professor Harper," said Owen. "I'm just tutoring you."

"Owen is a boy's name."

"Don't tell Owen Elliot that."

"Who is Owen Elliot?"

"Owen Elliot is the only child of Cass Elliot - Mama Cass," explained Owen. "_The Mamas and The Papas_ were a singing group back in the sixties. They were known for such songs as _California Dreaming_ and _Dream a Little Dream of Me_."

"So much to learn."

"You don't need to be a trivia expert like yours truly. Just know enough that people don't think you were born yesterday." Owen fondled his keys in his pocket.

Diane took a bite of her eggs. "Computer access and you think you rule the world."

"I'm still the same person I was yesterday."

"That paint job cost money and you have keys." Diane said while eating her food. "You're now among the living, at least, legally. Yesterday, we were both non-persons."

"You will get your own place soon and, in a couple short weeks, you will be flying, again. We can get a place together if going alone is too scary at first. I won't frighten away any potential boyfriends looking like this."

Diane smiled.

Owen smiled back. "See, things aren't that bad." After a full day of teaching Diane about computers, Owen taught Diane about vibrators and Owen learned his sex life wasn't over just because he was dead. There was always a work around.


	3. Chapter 3

Author's Note: I still don't own Torchwood.

xxxx

After Diane got her pilot's license, they got a place together. By spring, Diane was dusting crops for the Welch farmers. Owen got a job at a hospital in housekeeping. Some of the staff gossiped about Owen being a neurotic that doesn't like being touched. He only had to yell, "Don't touch me," on two separate occasions since word got around quickly, leaving him free to made the beds and clean the rooms without anyone learning he was room temperature. People also laughed that he must also have a phobia about eating in public because no one ever saw him eat.

Since Owen was invited to the Martha's wedding, Owen decided to paint his face to look natural and went back to using male mannerisms. Bad idea. People looked at him all day unable to place him. Around one o'clock, Owen had to retcon someone he had worked with before Katie died.

Diane asked when he got through the door. "Why are you home early?"

"I had to retcon a doctor. He recognized me and wouldn't take 'I have never seen you before' as an answer. It escalated to him touching me and realising I don't breathe or have a pulse. He'll wake up thinking he had one too many martinis for lunch. I'll have to return to being Miss Owen Harper for the rest of my unnatural existence or work somewhere they never heard of Dr. Owen Harper."

"Work somewhere else," said Diane.

"I like working in a hospital. Medicine is all I know."

"You're changing linens and mopping floors."

"I'm room temperature that means I can't touch patients, which rules out most areas of patient care. Not to mention, I have only one functioning hand."

"You did alien autopsies for Torchwood," said Diane. "The corpses won't mind that you're cool to the touch."

"One functioning hand," Owen repeated. "I would have continued working at the Flat Holm facility if it wasn't for the fucking boat ride. I've had a hard day and really don't want to talk about it."

Diane walked into the kitchen. "I'm going to make some dinner."

Owen started playing a video game. He was still fighting imaginary aliens when she sat down with her food to watch him. "One of the good things about being dead is I don't have to stop playing to eat, drink or sleep," he commented.

"Must you always be painted," asked Diane. "I miss the touch of your skin against mine."

"Most accidents happen in home," explained Owen. "As much as I would love to wrap myself in packing peanuts that isn't practical. My plastic covering is an important line of defence because, if my skin rips or flakes off for any reason, I won't grow more skin, exposing the bones and muscles underneath. Every time you bruise, the tissue under your skin breaks. Think about each bruise you get in a normal week. My accident with the scalpel shows my skin is just as delicate as yours. I lost most of the function in one hand due to my own stupidity. I need to protect the rest of my body the best I can."

"I want to touch you, not plastic."

"Love, I need to redo my make-up after the disaster that was today. If you're careful not to scratch me, it will be alright this once."

"I don't want you getting scratches you can't heal," said Diane. "I just want to feel skin-on-skin. That must sound terrible."

"I like holding you, too."

Diane watched him shoot the monsters on the screen. "You're stronger than I. I reentered the rift because I needed to wait 3 weeks for flight lessons. 3 weeks, which is nothing. I couldn't hose and scrub airplanes while watching other people fly, knowing I would never fly, again."

"It must sound crazy, but I like hearing the doctors and nurses talk. I know I'm just a fly on the wall to them, but being there is better than watching any medical drama on the telly." Owen changed the subject to the video game. "This boss needs killing and I used up all my lives."

xxxx

Quietly entering the bathroom, Diane watched Owen put on his face, using those natural skin tone pigments. A fresh-faced young woman was smiling at her in the mirror. Diane, usually, limited her make-up to red lipstick unless it was a special occasion. She would never paint her face like Owen did, but it was amazing to watch. Owen was a bisexual young man, who was very happy in his masculinity. Back in 1953, Diane didn't know people could be bi, straight, gay or even asexual. Sexuality always had all those flavours, but even straight sex wasn't talked about.

"You see Lizzie in the mirror." Diane didn't expect an answer. He couldn't talk or nod until he was finished. "I don't mean to upset you, but it couldn't hurt to see a therapist that treats rape victims."

Owen put down his applicator. "I would have to retcon my therapist. Suzie did that. Bad idea all around. It's been over two years I manage."

"You should do more that manage," said Diane.

"I need to spray my face," said Owen. "Due to the toxic fumes, you have to leave."

With his face fully made-up, but not wearing a wig or falsies, Owen returned to the sofa and put an arm around Diane. "We can talk now."

Diane leaned against him. "It's amazing you can use all that make-up and look like you're wearing only lipstick and eyeshadow."

"Barbara said the secret of good make-up is to look like you're not wearing any make-up at all. Barbara goes for the natural look unless the family requests differently."

"I shouldn't have mentioned Lizzie," said Diane.

"A day doesn't go by that I don't see her pink coat and the ribbon in her hair. Sometimes, I think about calling on Ed Morgan. I must have called him Mr. Morgan a hundred times. It's wrong to take sadistic pleasure out of hurting someone, but he hurt Lizzie and I wanted him to feel a little bit how she felt."

Diane put a hand on his knee. "You're a good man. You risked your life to stop a power plant from melting down, although you knew next to nothing about nuclear energy. Each day you clean up faeces and vomit with a smile on your face. You even helped out Torchwood when they needed someone to get past heat sensors, and I know how much you adore Jack."

"You should date more," said Owen.

"How do you find men in the 21th century?"

"Pubs haven't changed," said Owen. "You know about condoms and safe sex. The girl can't expect the man to be prepared. Gwen, you and Tosh I met through work. Then there is the Internet. I can help you navigate the websites."

"Bringing condoms for a night on the town seems so forward," said Diane.

"This isn't the 1950's."

"Groan," said Diane. A 1950's girl was using Internet chat speak when not on the Internet. Diane didn't know if she should be ashamed or thrilled.

"Let's look at those websites." Owen used the remote to bring up wifi on the telly. "You can talk to people all over the world or limit your selections to people locally. You can write in your profile that you are a feminist that expects chivalry."

"So says a man wearing lipstick and eyeshadow to bed."

"I don't go to bed." Owen googled a popular dating site. "I play video games or go on the Internet and talk to people across the Pond. The party is only getting started over there when it's 3 o'clock Greenwich time."

"You're macho Owen over the Internet." Diane smiled. "That's your secret."

"I'm not limited by my body in cyberspace," explained Owen. "I can shag with as many sexy women as I want. However, some of those sexy women might be men roleplaying, but that is OK because I'm roleplaying, too."

"I could never roleplay," said Diane. "It's too surreal."

"You're living with a walking dead man," said Owen. "Your life is surreal."

"Then I have enough surrealism in my life and don't need to seek it out." Diane watched Owen's fingers on the keyboard as he navigated the Internet. His good hand more than made up for the lose of mobility of his weaker hand. "Let's locate a real man I can meet at a nearby coffee shop for a safe lunch. We can leave the women pretending to be men and the bots pretending to be people for another day."

"Another day," said Owen. "I only retconned one person."

"You'll manage with the dignity you're know for."

Owen laughed. "You have mistaken me for someone else. The King of the Weevils has no dignity."

Diane placed an arm around Owen. "You shouldn't laugh at your own jokes. You can meet me for lunch tomorrow since I don't need to be at the airport until 2:45."

xxxx

Author's Note: The kiddies start saying "We are coming" next chapter. BTW, I knew someone with a phobia about eating around other people.


	4. Chapter 4

Author's Note: I don't own Torchwood. BBC does.

xxxx

After getting dressed for a day of last minute shopping, Owen smiled at the man looking back at him the mirror. At a men's store, Ianto helped him pick out a suit for the wedding.

"Clothes I will never wear, again. Everyone at work thinks I'm a girl."

"If I wasn't with Jack, I would date you," said Ianto.

Owen batted his eyelashes. "I'm flattered."

"Gwen can't believe you're still living with Diane. How's that going?"

"I'm teaching her about Internet dating. So far all she seems to have learned is the word_ no_. For a girl who slept with a married man because she wanted meaningless sex, she seems to be shying away from men just looking for a good time."

"She may have found the man she wants."

Owen smiled at the thought. However, Diane would eventually find a man that could do more than use his fingers, his tongue and a vibrator. Since Owen's body was dead, his sole purpose was pleasing Diane, so she couldn't get a more dedicated lover. _"Sit on my face and tell me that you love me."_

xxxx

Although Owen enjoyed dancing with Diane at the wedding, he was happy that Martha's sister, Tish, caught the bouquet, not Diane. Ianto did tease that Diane and Owen would be the next Torchwood couple to get married. That Monday morning, the hospital had more than its normal accidents involving children standing in the middle of the road.

By lunch time, everyone was talking about it. While pretending to read a book, Owen listened to the other housekeepers.

"All the children stopped, just stopped," said Uneek, which Owen found out wasn't a unique name. "Once was weird enough, but it happened, again, two hours later."

Owen looked at the same page he was rereading. He wasn't going to get much reading done with gossip flowing.

"Owen, what do you think?" asked Uneek.

"It's odd," said Owen. "Small children can hear higher pitches than us old folks."

Uneek, who was 19 or 20, if she was a day, said, "You're talking about yourself."

"I'm 27." He would always be 27. "Still ten year olds can hear stuff someone in their twenties can't."

"Just because we clean up after doctors all day, don't go thinking you know something," said Uneek.

"You asked me." Owen looked at the words on the page. "Uneek, I'm going back to my reading."

The other hospital employees had left the break room and it was only Uneek and him sitting at the table.

Uneek continued to talk. "Still it's creepy all the children stopping twice in one day - two hours apart - and that scream and the chatting 'we are coming.'"

Owen wanted to actually finish reading the paragraph he was on. "Sound waves."

Jack had Mickey and Minnie working for him now. If Jack wanted his input, he would call him. The hospital was in the phone book and he was the only Owen Harper in housekeeping. Then again, Mr and Mrs Mouse would still be on their honeymoon that left Jack, Gwen and Ianto - only 3 people to handle a bunch of aliens or someone using alien technology that was the right frequency to be only heard by children of a certain age. Why did he feel guilty about trying to read while listening to Uneek babble when Torchwood was no longer his problem?

"Owen, no one has seen you eat or drink," said Uneek. "You're an alien."

"That's insane," said Owen, shutting his book. No reading was going to happen, today.

Uneek said in a sing-song voice, "Owen's an alien."

Owen slammed his book on the breakroom table. "I can tell you the truth, but you need to keep quiet. Then again, you can announce it on the hospital loud speaker because no one would believe you. I just rather you didn't."

"I won't tell anyone," said Uneek.

"I know a bit about alien technology because my former boss used some on me," explained Owen in a soft voice. "You can touch my hand. I won't freak out this time. I promise."

Uneek put her hand over his hand. "It's plastic and cool to the touch." She moved her hand over his wrist. "You're a fucking robot. That's why your make-up doesn't smear. You're an impressive piece of technology. I'll give you that. Your secret is safe with me."

"Happy?" Owen was coated in a plastic film to keep his skin from getting scratched (it wasn't the scratching itself - it was the skin cells flaking off due to scratching.) or torn. And clean-up was a wipe with a wet cloth. A shower meant skin and hair going down the drain - skin and hair that wouldn't grow back - and few flakes and a few hairs over time would make him bald and skinless. The film also sealed his make-up, so it wouldn't run or smear. A robot? He figured that was more believable then a walking dead man.

"You aren't human technology," said Uneek. "You were build by aliens to spy on us."

"I'm not a robot," explained Owen. "If I were designed for reconnaissance, I would have a rubbish bin for food stuff."

"Not if they needed the space for electronics, levers and pulleys." Uneek had an answer for everything.

"A robot? You know how crazy you sound?"

"Then what the fuck are you?" Uneek touched Owen's cheek for less than a second. "Plastic. You're a robot decoy like in those comics."

Owen tried to take a deep breath, but no air would fill his lungs. "Calm down. Our emotions are running high because someone is using the children. I'll never be a father and I think that's low."

"Owen, you're a girl. A plastic girl, but a girl none the less."

"The boobs." And he was using female mannerisms and a feminine voice. "A girl. I'm not thinking straight. I need to use one of my sick days and go home. Tell no one this or I'll give you and your friend medicine to make you forget."

"How do I know we haven't had this conversation before?" she asked.

"You don't." Owen stood and put the book under his arm. "I'm going home."

"Owen, I wouldn't tell anyone you're plastic. Not that anyone would believe me."

Owen punched out for the day and went home. Diane had a charter flight. Rich people taking a business trip. No crops today. Real flying, according to Diane. The flat was too quiet. Maybe, being at work would have been better. Too late for that now.

Not having anything else to do, he went to a virtual sex club on an adult gaming server. But "We are coming" kept repeating in his mind. Who was coming? And why did the aliens use children to talk for them? He should stop being a stubborn arsehole for a second and call Jack, Gwen or Ianto.

Owen called the hospital. "I need a few days off. I'm not feeling so good."

"We need you," said his boss. "You must have heard the news. You don't have children, so I thought I could count on you."

"I didn't ask to be sick." Owen hung up the phone.

And few minutes later, his caller ID told him the hospital was calling back. "Owen, it's Uneek. I'm sorry about earlier."

"Me, too," said Owen. "I'll refresh my make-up, take off the wig and you can see the real me. Or as much as I show anyone other than my girlfriend."

"You have a girlfriend?" asked Uneek.

"Does that surprise you?" Owen asked in his normal voice. Of course, it did or she wouldn't have questioned it. Owen threw the conversation to her. "Do you have someone?"

"I have a bloke," said Uneek.

"After my girl gets off from work, we can all meet up for drinks," Owen suggested.

xxxx

Owen was happy to be dressed like a man because he wasn't very comfortable playing a girl, but since he kept to himself, he was Owen with boobs, a wig and a slight wiggle to his walk. He combed his hair gently. He didn't shed hair because he was dead, but he could still break off a split end while combing.

While Diane was making herself a sandwich, Owen said, "We're going out with a co-worker of mine and her bloke. All these children got hit by cars due to standing in the road. Then the "We are coming", everyone is a bit freaked out."

"I didn't hear about it until we landed," said Diane.

"The control tower wouldn't want to upset you and it isn't like you could have done anything about it," said Owen.

"Isn't this something Torchwood would be involved with?" asked Diane.

"They have my number," said Owen. "They can reach me by mobile any time."

"You should call them," said Diane.

"They need their phone lines free for real calls," said Owen.

xxxx

At the pub, Owen ran over to Uneek and hugged her. Uneek introduced her bloke, Dave, and Owen introduced Diane then they got a table. "Three beers," said Owen, paying for the first round.

"Owen doesn't drink," said Diane.

"Everyone at work thinks I have this phobia about eating in front of people," said Owen. "They think I'm totally neurotic and they don't know about the crossdressing."

Diane took Owen's hand. "You're beautiful in and out of a dress."

Owen winked at Uneek. "Especially out of one."

"Owen can make the Earth move without Daleks," said Diane.

Owen put an arm around Diane. "It isn't necrophilia if I'm conscious."

"You're dead?" said Uneek.

"In a _Death Becomes Her_ kind of way," said Owen. "Not _Night of the Living Dead_."

Diane leaned against Owen. "He's my zombie. Get your own."

"With the children saying 'We are coming', I couldn't let Uneek think I'm an alien robot," said Owen, "No matter how humorous it was."

"Right, zombie." Uneek laughed. "You're an alien robot."

Owen pulled up his shirt. "See bullet wound. No blood, no scarring, not healing. I was 27 years old when I died." He put his shirt back down.

Dave said, "I'm talking to a dead man. Cool."

They were playing pool when Owen's phone rang. Ianto was hysterical. "A bomb was implanted inside Jack. The hub blew up. I'm on the run. Watch yourself." Then the phone went dead.

Owen said to Diane. "We need to talk alone."

Diane said, "The girls' bathroom."

"I'm not dressed for it."

"Outside then," Diane hurried Owen outside. "Torchwood called."

"Ianto, again. A bomb was implanted in Jack. The hub is gone. Ianto is on the run," Owen explained in a near whisper. "We need to wait for another phone call and not go home."

"That's it," said Diane.

"I'm dead. I can't be killed," whispered Owen. "They could kill you to get to me."

"We need to act normal and finish our billiards game," said Diane.

"Good idea," he whispered back.

Diane sank one ball after another then called the eight ball and sank it, too. "Game's over. Let's go home." She grabbed Owen and kissed him full on the lips.

Owen pushed Diane's lips off his mouth and said, "Dave, Uneek, we need to go home. I think she's horny."

Uneek mouthed, "You think?" Then waved good-bye.

While they were walking along the street arm-in-arm, Owen said, "That was not acting normal."

Diane smirked. "When you're good, you're good."

xxxx

Author's Note:_ Sit on my face_ is a Monty Python tune. My ex-husband is a fan of Monty Python. You can see by my typo (since corrected) I am not.


	5. Chapter 5

Author's note: I don't own Torchwood. BBC does.

xxxx

Since Diane needed to sleep, she got a room under a fake name paying cash. Owen joined her in the room and said, "Tosh had used CCTV to follow people around town. We should stay put until Ianto calls, again."

"So we wait," said Diane.

The next day and no phone call. Owen said, "You stay here while I get food."

"Won't they be expecting you at work?" asked Diane.

"I told them I was sick before the bomb went off, so if the people, who planted the bomb, phone work they will know the two things aren't related," explained Owen. Unless the time wasn't recorded. At least, he had phoned about missing work yesterday, so he didn't have to borrow a stranger's mobile to make a call without it being traced to the hotel room.

"Go," said Diane.

While Owen was shopping, Ianto called from a pay phone, "I found where they're keeping Jack. I haven't heard from Gwen since last night, so it's up to us to rescue Jack."

Owen found a private area that was marked "Authorised personal only" and asked, "Where are they keeping him?"

A few minutes later, Ianto picked up Owen from the grocery. Since phone calls could be traced, Owen didn't call Diane and hoped she would understand. While driving to the military compound, Ianto said, "For a split second, I think Jack thought he was carrying our child. Can you imagine me a father?"

"You would make a great father."

Ianto blushed. "Thanks."

"Jack mentioned he had been pregnant once. The perineum separating the vagina from the anus is very small. Jack's perineum could be internal with the vagina connecting to the anus." Owen always imagined Jack as topping. That meant Jack bottomed, at least, some of the time. Owen didn't take Jack's off-hand remark about his previous pregnancy seriously because Jack was standing in the rain complaining about the hormones in the rain water. If Jack had female organs, they were part of him/her/it because Jack restored himself back to life from being dead and an implant wouldn't come along for the ride. Jack was a him, not a him/her or it - no matter what organs he had.

"I don't want to talk about Jack's anatomy at the moment," said Ianto. "The people holding the love of my life see nothing wrong with implanting a bomb in someone's abdomen. They could be torturing Jack as we speak."

When they arrived at the compound, the woman Ianto saw last night was pouring concrete into a cell. They needed to get some heavy equipment and fast. Ianto stole then operated the heavy equipment, leaving Owen at the car by an old quarry. A short time later, Gwen and Rhys were running to the car while Ianto dropped a cement block into the quarry pit. After the block dropped Gwen ran into the pit while Owen stayed in the car with Rhys.

"Told you I'd be back." said a naked and very dusty Jack.

"With no help from us," teased Ianto.

"What the hell is going on?" asked Jack.

"Don't know yet, but the latest from the kids is it's happening tomorrow," said Gwen.

"Just in time then," said Jack.

"Get in the car." Gwen said, handing Jack a coat. "Come on. We got work to do."

Jack got into the car in the backseat beside Owen. "You're here, too."

"Ianto insisted," said Owen. "I told Diane I was going out to buy her food; that was hours ago."

With Gwen also in the backseat, it was a tight squeeze. This one time, Owen was glad he was dead because of a naked Jack squeezed against him still holding the coat Gwen gave him over his shoulder. You didn't need to be gay or bisexual for a naked Jack to give you a hard on, only alive, which Owen wasn't. Jack was definitely _he_ - not the generic_ it_ - like some of the aliens Torchwood dealt with.

"Jack, if the world survives this, we can have that baby," said Ianto.

"What baby?" asked Jack.

"I could see from your eyes, you thought it was a baby for the briefest second," said Ianto.

"Did not," said Jack. "The people, who implanted the bomb in me, killed me first and all my children are mortal."

"Then you can get pregnant," said Ianto.

"Ianto, our child would be as beautiful as you," commented Jack.

Gwen said, "We can raise our children together."

"Diane and I can't have a child. My sperm was in the hub and that was destroyed." Since Owen had talked to Diane about artificial insemination, Owen had put aside his sperm, so whenever she came through the rift even if it was 200 years later, she could have his child. Tommy had lasted almost a 100 years frozen in the hub freezers and Owen's sperm didn't make 2 years.

"Owen, I'm sorry," said Gwen.

"We lost all that alien technology," said Owen. "Much more important than my sperm, besides no one wants little Owen Harpers running about."

"It matters to you," said Gwen.

"It was a gift for Diane," said Owen.

Owen borrowed the mobile phone of a store employee while Gwen bought Jack clothes with the cash Diane gave him. He didn't like that a rich client had paid Diane in cash that spoke of drug money, but tonight he was grateful. Then drug runners would know Diane was a lady with an iffy background that didn't exist until a few months ago. Diane would get killed one of these days and it would have nothing to do with Torchwood. "You can leave the hotel," whispered Owen. "You're safe."

"I've been sitting here all day sick with worry," said Diane.

"They can't kill a dead man," said Owen.

"But they can hurt you and you don't heal," said Diane. "Please, be careful. I love you."

"Sweetheart, I love you, too. Bye." Owen went back to the service desk and handed the clerk her phone. "Thanks."

xxxx

Ianto took them to a warehouse that was used back in the Torchwood One days. Clothes did make the man because Jack looked much more vulnerable in a tee shirt and jogging pants. The period clothes weren't a gay thing like Owen had told Gwen. The great coat and the other period clothes told people that Jack was out of time. It said in a subtle way that he was one hundred and sixty. Was that now 2160? Or did Jack's time buried underground not count?

After Rhys made a fire in the oil drum, Gwen complained about the cold. Being numb meant Owen didn't feel the cold. He also didn't feel heat. That's why he stayed out of kitchens and Jack thought making coffee was a good idea for his first day back at work.

"That voice thing said today and we're stuck in the back end of beyond," complained Gwen.

"But we're together," said Jack. "The old team."

No Tosh, thought Owen, not saying it out loud.

"All together: the old team." Ianto had sadness in his voice. He missed Tosh, too.

With Diane's money, they had enough for another laptop and some food. All the credit cards and mobile phones could be traced; thus, useless. The Torchwood software was still in the cloud and not lost when the hub was destroyed. After they got the lights on, Gwen went off to talk to that Lois Habiba person.

While using Ianto's sister's laptop. Jack said, "Frobisher's the key to this. He's just a civil servant, he's nothing. What makes him start authorising executions?"

Gwen went out with the new laptop since Ianto was very protective of his sister's laptop. Then he, probably, had promised he'd return it in one piece. The car was hidden kilometres from the warehouse, so it couldn't be used to find them. Gwen would be heading to that car now, leaving them without a vehicle.

"What did it feel like?" asked Ianto. "I mean, getting blown up?"

Owen was just listening, feeling like he needed to run home to Diane. And thinking about Tosh asking him how it felt being dead. One thing he knew, Jack wouldn't quote Monty Python.

"Wasn't the best of days," said Jack.

"No," said Ianto. "But did you feel it?"

Owen and Rhys could hear Jack's intake of breath.

"Or did everything just go black?" asked Ianto.

"I felt it," said Jack.

"Shit," said Ianto.

"Yeah," said Jack.

"Do you ever think that one day your luck will run out? That you won't come back."

After taking another deep breath, Jack turned his head to face Ianto. "I'm a fixed point in time and space. That's what the Doctor says. I think that means it's forever."

"So one day, you'll see me die of old age, and just keep going?"

"Yeah," replied Jack.

"We'd better make the most of it then."

"I suppose."

"Like right now?"

"Ianto, the world could be ending."

"The world's always ending."

"Except when the multi-verse is ending," said Owen.

"You went for a planet-light swim while Gwen and I had a Dalek blocking the door," said Ianto.

"I didn't know about the Daleks when I went for that swim," Owen said in his defence. "Jack was the only one who knew about the multi-verse ending. But the Earth is my home and where I keep all my stuff."

"The Earth ending is kinda bad," said Jack. "I need the names of the other people Frobisher ordered killed."

While Ianto repeated the names, Owen took over the computer.

"I don't recognise them." Jack looked over the computer screen. "Show me them 40 years old. Old photos."

Owen bought up the old photos.

Jack then said, "I didn't know their names."

Then just like that Jack ran out the door, leaving Owen, Ianto and Rhys staring at the door. Well, not Rhys, he was still cooking his beans.

"The beans are done," said Rhys.

"Ianto, enjoy," said Owen. "You have Jack here and Gwen. I'm happy Diane is home - safe." If Diane was flying for some other person paying in cash, safe was a relative term.

"But you miss her." Rhys poured his beans onto a plate and started eating.

"Yeah," said Owen.

xxxx

Author's Note: Since Owen took over the computer, I paraphrase Jack instead of the direct quotes like with Jack and Ianto since Owen would influence Jack's reactions. :) Also in case, you haven't noticed Jack is still wearing the tee shirt and jogging pants. I didn't find transcripts over the Internet. And I'm not a secretary, so I had to stop the video, take notes and move it a few seconds ahead. Very tedious. The last time I did an AU, it was for a book series. Copying from a book is easier then copying from captions. I hope you enjoy. Please, review.


	6. Chapter 6

Author's Notes: I don't own Torchwood. BBC does.

xxxx

Finally, Gwen got back then almost immediately left to get Clem. Ianto was using his sister's computer, protecting it like it was glass vase. Every few seconds or so, Ianto would stare at the door like he could will Jack to return, making Owen glad that Diane was home and semi-safe.

"How are you managing with Tosh gone?" asked Rhys.

"Good until Jack said the gang's all here," said Owen. "I'm living with Diane and you don't forget and it never gets easier, but you continue. I lost my fiancee before I started Torchwood. I can go days, sometimes weeks, without thinking about Katie. It will get that way with Tosh."

"I shouldn't have said anything," said Rhys.

"You didn't say it. Jack did then Ianto repeated it," said Owen. "If we had her, we wouldn't be drifting around in the dark."

"She was amazing with computers, wasn't she?"

"She was amazing - full stop," said Owen. "And Tosh and I wasted all that time playing games. Ianto is right about having to make the most of it."

Rhys changed the subject. "You and Diane need to try out the contact lenses. It will give you a new perspective."

Owen looked at his hand. "I don't need a scratched eyeball. Thank you very much."

"Everything has risks. The children are being taken over by aliens." Rhys smiled then his smile grew bigger. "And Gwen and I are having a baby. A baby."

"I love seeing Diane come." Owen was beaming. "My first present to her was a vibrator." His first present after Jack put money into his reopened bank account, but Rhys would know that.

Rhys said, "With those lenses, she can see herself come. And you can look at yourself through her eyes. It is so hot."

Jack and Gwen hadn't got back when the children stopped again. This time they were pointing. Owen and Rhys were watching Ianto man the computer when Ianto said, "All the children in America are pointing east and all the children in Europe are point west."

"It's us," said Rhys. "They're pointing at us. They're pointing at Thames House."

"This is all kicking off now," said Ianto like it was a bloody football game. The world was ending, again. This wasn't a bloody sporting event. "Just when we need Jack."

Finally, Gwen got back with Clem, who was too busy eating hot dogs to notice anyone. After a number of hot dogs were in Clem's stomach, he stated, "He's queer. I can smell it."

Needless to say, Ianto wasn't happy about that remark.

Owen walked over to him. "What about me? What do you smell?"

Clem sniffed the air around Owen. "Nothing. Absolutely nothing." Then Clem raced into Gwen's arms and clung to her. "Ghost. Not real. A ghost."

Gwen said, "Owen isn't a ghost, but he is dead."

Clem looked at Owen, still clinging to Gwen. "You're dead?"

"I died and was brought back wrong," said Owen. "You can touch me. I'm as real as you are."

Clem, tentatively, touched Owen's black jacket. "Real."

"I don't decay, so I have no odour," explained Owen. "Jack suggested I use cologne and, with all the rushing about, I didn't use mouthwash this morning." Using either one would have given him a scent, but Owen hadn't used either. Not only was he invisible to heat sensors, he was invisible to guard dogs until he made a noise. "I didn't mean to frighten you."

Ianto, manning the computer, said, "No sign of her. Lenses inactive. Online. She's doing it."

Gwen got in front of the monitor. "Oh, good girl."

"I knew she would," said Rhys.

In the elevator, all they could see on the monitor was backs of heads. Lois would have to get somewhere where she could see faces and lips. Finally, they were in a room with a conference room facing a tank.

"Some sort of tank," explained Gwen. "There is something inside the smoke. Clem, come here. What do you think?

Clem was sniffing around. "Can't smell it from here. It that what tried to take me?"

"Yeah, think so," said Gwen.

Owen didn't care about all this protocol shit. His ears perked up when Ianto read Lois's shorthand saying, "We want your children. We will take your children."

"What the hell for?" asked Rhys.

Clem became agitated. "They want to take them like the they did before, like the man." Clem was sniffing around like a fucking bloodhound. "He's coming back. He's coming back." By now, Clem was pointing to the door and was beyond his normal level of distress and, with Clem, that was saying a lot.

"We want 10 percent of the children of this world," Ianto read off Lois's notepad as Clem chanted.

"He's coming, he's coming," over and over Clem chanted.

When Jack entered the warehouse, a pin could have dropped. Jack was wearing his great coat, looking every bit like Jack.

Clem said, "He hasn't changed. He's the same. All these years. How can he be the same?"

"What is he talking about, Jack?" asked Gwen.

"Clement MacDonald," said Jack. "Just another name. It was easier if you didn't know the names."

"You were there?" asked Gwen. "In 1965?"

"He was the man," said Clem.

"No," said Gwen. "No. This is what he does. He fights them. He fights aliens. Is that right, Jack?"

"No," said Jack in a small voice.

"Then what were you doing there?" asked Gwen.

"I gave them the kids," admitted Jack. "1965, I gave them 12 children."

"What for?" asked Gwen.

"As a gift," said Jack. Owen didn't buy that. There must have been more to it. A lot more to it if Frobisher wanted Jack and the others dead. What wasn't Jack saying? 456 were back and they wanted a lot more than 12 children. All of Jack's secrets needed to be exposed and soon.


	7. Chapter 7

Author's Note: I don't own Torchwood. BBC does.

xxxx

A child from 1965 was in the tank with the 456. He was bald and had sunken-in eyes, but looked unharmed. And he was still a child. He should have been Clem's age give or take. They listened as the people in Gold Command selected their 10 percent.

Gwen said, "We've got enough evidence recorded here to destroy every person in that room."

Jack agreed. "And we can use it to force our way into Thames House. Finally, get face-to-face with this thing."

"And get your family released," added Gwen.

"Right, everyone know what they're doing?" asked Jack.

"What if I can't get Lois to agree to this, Jack?" asked Gwen.

"She hasn't let us down, yet," said Jack. "Rhys, OK?"

Rhys nodded.

"Rhys, you aren't Torchwood," said Owen. "You should be home. I wish I was home, but since I'm here. You will need a doctor, especially a doctor immune to Indonesian Flu or whatever else they throw our way."

"OK, you go," said Jack.

Owen threw Gwen a mobile phone. "With us going to Thames House, we're no longer under deep cover. I want you try calling Martha, again."

"Martha?" said Gwen.

A few nights ago, when his biggest concern was cleaning bathrooms and buffing floors, Owen was watching videos after work, and since he didn't sleep, he went through the bonus features and then the bonus features' bonus features to find the Doctor and Martha hidden on a DVD, which was odd to say the least. Those bonus features didn't make him all that confident about the Doctor's abilities. Then again, the Doctor might be onto something with this timey-wimey stuff, seeing Owen didn't see the bonus features until a few days ago and the DVD had existed for years.

"Martha has this phone," Owen explained. "She's able to reach the Doctor no matter where he is in the universe," Jack and the others were able to amplify this signal with the rift when the Daleks attacked. Gwen just needed reminding since she was there and Owen wasn't.

"But Martha isn't picking up her phone," said Gwen.

"Wilfred Mott," said Jack. "He'll have Donna's old phone, I hope."

"The phone number would be nice," said Gwen.

"My address book is gone with the rest of my stuff," said Jack. "The hub might have been your place of business, but it was my home. You have virtual phone books on the Internet. He lives with Sylvia Noble, his daughter."

Gwen started typing into the computer. "Do you have an address?"

"Martha would," said Jack.

"If we could reach Martha, we wouldn't need to find this Mott fellow," said Gwen.

"Sylvia's number is unlisted," said Jack. "But that has never stopped us before."

Finding a phone number was child's play to Tosh. Mickey Mouse was also a grade-A hacker, but he and Martha had gone off the radar.

"Children, Owen and I have a meeting to arrange," said Jack. "I'm sure the three of you can find one old man."

xxxx

Jack told the 456 that they weren't getting 10 percent of the world's children or any children for that matter and the 456 didn't take it very well to say the least. Owen watched helplessly as a pathogen was released into the air. The room went into lock-down sealing them in. The whole building would go into lock-down containing the pathogens.

"Jack, hold on," Owen said holding the dying man in his arms. "You can't leave me alone."

Then Jack's breathing stopped and Owen was sitting on the floor with a dead Jack on his lap.

"You're suppose to be dead," said the 456.

"Sorry to disappoint you," said Owen with new found courage.

"Why aren't you dead?"

"Whatever disease you threw our way, a portion of the population will be immune. People, whose ancestors lived in the ghettos of mediaeval Europe, are immune to the black plague and tuberculous because anyone who was able to catch those diseases wouldn't have had lived to have children." Owen had to play the best poker ever. Make the 456 reconsider their next move. Buy Earth a few more days. Enough time to find the 456's ship or ships and blow them out of orbit. UNIT liked to fire first and ask questions later.

The 456 did its best projectile vomiting.

"I'm a doctor," said Owen. "You should have that checked."

"Die," said the 456.

"You die," said Owen. "And if you want our kids so bad just try to take them. Don't expect us to do your dirty work for you."

Jack did their dirty work for them before. Jack, who should have re-animated by now. Where was that gasp and startled expression that Owen had grown so used to?

The 456 said, "You don't give us 10 percent of the world's children and you will die."

"I'm still here," said Owen. "And my friend is calling the Doctor. Have you heard of him? He eats megalomaniacs like you for breakfast."

"You lie."

"The Doctor." Owen had no way of knowing if the Doctor was reached. More poker. "Travels around in a blue box. I'm surprised you haven't heard of him. My sick friend is real close to him, and if he gets hurt, the Doctor won't be very happy."

Owen spotted a fire extinguisher on the wall. Breaking the tank would release poisons into the room; however, since everyone in the building and, possibly, the surrounding area was dead, Owen had nothing to lose. Everyone should have left the building when Jack announced that Torchwood was here. Hopeful, they did leave, making the causalities minimal. Owen banged on the tank with the extinguisher with all his might, but it was no use. A few scratches, but the tank held. Finally, someone with a hazardous materials suit opened the door.

"You're alive," said the man in the hazmat suit.

"No thanks to you." Owen wasn't alone in the world with only Jack left for company. Other people were alive. This man in a hazmat suit for starts.

"You need to get into that cage and kill the alien and free the child," said Owen.

"What about you?" asked the man.

"You have the protective gear." Owen didn't want to show all his cards, at least, not yet. "The TARDIS should be landing any moment. We can wait it out."

"How do I kill the alien?"

"Open the door, idiot," said Owen. "The Earth's atmosphere will kill it."

"You will be killed by the poison," said the man.

"But the children of Earth will be safe." Owen sat down by Jack and took his pulse. Still nothing. "You have to do this."

The man was looking at Owen unsure what to do. Owen couldn't tell the man that he didn't need to breath and Jack can't die without also telling the 456. "How's your friend?" asked the man.

"He'll be coming around any second," said Owen. "He usually isn't out this long."

"If I open that door, you will both be dead," said the man.

"Us or 10 percent of the world's children," said Owen. "I know what I would chose."

xxxx

Author's Note: I, finally, had Owen act. Banging on the tank with a fire extinguisher is so Owen. And the Doctor will be here next chapter or not.


	8. Chapter 8

Author's Note: I don't own Torchwood or Doctor Who. BBC does.

xxxx

Suddenly the choice was taken from them, a blue police box materialised. The doctor and an older man, Wilfred Mott, entered the room. The Doctor, an attractive man in a brown pinstripe suit and trainers, sat on the floor near Owen. "How is he?"

"He's usually up by now," said Owen.

As on cue, Jack did his usual gasp and returned to the living. "Captain Jack Harkness." Jack said with a wink, offering Wilfred his hand. "You must be Wilfred."

"Not now," said the Doctor.

After helping Jack up, Wilfred said, "I wish I could say Donna told me all about you, but she doesn't remember a thing."

"As it should be," said the doctor.

Now standing, Jack shook Wilfred's hand.

"Now isn't the time," said the doctor.

"It's just a hello." The twinkle in Jack's eye said different then Jack was only flattering an old man since all of Jack's love now went to Ianto.

"How do you work with him?" asked the doctor.

"Gwen flirts back," said Owen. "I tell him to fuck off."

"Ah." The doctor looked over the tank. "You want 10 percent of the world's children. Not very nice at all. What if someone wanted your children? Not all that pleasant, if I put it that way." The Doctor walked over to the man in the hazard suit. "456. That's what you call yourself. You and I are going to have a talk. While we talk, can you promise to keep this room suitable for human occupancy?"

"Yes," said the 456.

"By suitable, I mean my companions continue to be alive and breathing."

"Yes," said the 456.

"Then the suit, kind sir." The Doctor held out his hand to the man in the hazard suit.

The man took off the suit and gave it to the doctor. The doctor quickly dressed.

"Then I'll go and talk to our friend," said the doctor before using his sonic screwdriver to enter the tank.

After the doctor was in the tank with the 456, Jack said, "How's Donna?"

"Alive, well," said Wilfred. "Getting on her mother's last nerve."

"You miss the person she was when she was with the Doctor," said Jack.

"She had this purpose when she was with the Doctor," said Wilfred. "You're American, but that's a British great coat."

"Captain Jack Harkness," said Jack. "133 Squadron, Royal Air Force. American volunteer."

Owen noticed Wilfred's hat. "He flew planes while you jumped out of them."

"The coat isn't standard issue," said Wilfred.

"I bought the coat yesterday at a military surplus store. Someone bombed my home. I lost everything," said Jack. More vomit hit the wall of the tank. "The conversation seems pretty animated."

"That it does," said Wilfred.

"I have all the memories in my head," said Jack. "But every photo and keepsake is gone."

Wilfred said, "You made it out alive and that's what matters."

"The government kidnapped my daughter and grandson to get to me," said Jack. "I'm a fake that gives innocent children to aliens. Everyone on Earth is going to die because of me."

Owen said, "You didn't make the 456 return."

"No, I just handed over the children," said Jack. "Gwen said I fight aliens. I didn't back in 65."

"Jack, you do not feel sorry for yourself," said Owen. "That's my job. You're our brave leader, who tells us to go kick alien arse."

Finally, the Doctor left the tank then took off the hazmat suit. "Never try to reason with a junky. Wilfred, we have to call on the interstellar police. They would be very interesting in 456's activities."

"Yes, Doctor," said Wilfred.

The Doctor waved to Jack.

Jack saluted.

"Good luck." The doctor opened the door to the TARDIS. Then he turned, his eyes lingered on Owen and not in a good way. "Black jacket, slender. You must be Owen. Can we talk in the hallway?"

Owen followed the doctor into the hallway. "Yes, Doctor."

"You're not human," said the Doctor. "What are you?"

"The instrument that bought the embodiment of Death into our world," explained Owen. "After Death entered our world through me, I was abandoned by Death. I do not breath, eat or evacuate waste, yet Death does not want me."

"You were just waiting to say that to someone," said the Doctor.

"I'm not the one who said, 'a big bowl of wibbly wobbly timey wimey stuff,'" said Owen.

"You know about that?" said the Doctor.

"I also don't sleep, so I look for ways to amuse myself that don't wake the neighbors."

"While we are out here; tell Jack that I'm going to get the 456 to lower whatever is cloaking their ship or ships." The doctor smiled at Owen. "Don't say anything about this in front of the enemy."

"I understand."

"Jack knows I never had a good word for coppers on any world," The doctor returned the room with the tank and opened the door to the TARDIS. "Wilfred."

Wilfred saluted Owen and Jack then followed the Doctor into the TARDIS.

After the TARDIS left, Jack and Owen started heading down the stairs. No bodies in the stairwell, yet, maybe, everyone did leave when Jack gave his warning. Owen could hope.

"The Doctor is going to see if he can uncloak the 456 ship to give UNIT a target to fire at," said Owen. "The interstellar police was for the 456's ears."

"Thought as much," said Jack. "Did he say anything else?"

"Not really," said Owen. "You don't talk about the Doctor."

"You knew about Martha's phone," said Jack.

"Ianto talked and talked while you were with the Doctor. He mentioned the rift boasting the signal," said Owen. "If the Earth survives this, should I return to Torchwood bright and early Monday morning?"

"We have the ruins to scour. We can only hope that no one has been there before us. I would hate to have to collect all those artifacts, again. A simple explosion isn't going to harm the more sturdy objects in our collection."

"Then I'll be giving my resignation to the hospital."

Jack shook his hand. "Welcome back."

"The remnant was destroyed," said Owen. "Clem died."

Jack said, "They weren't frightened of us, but they were frightened of Clem. Why?"

"We didn't tell the Doctor," said Owen. "He took me aside. I should have told him. I'm so stupid. The fate of the planet in the hands of a bloke who orders pizza in Torchwood's name. I don't learn, do I?"

"Then we have to use the knowledge of them being scared of Clem ourselves," said Jack. "The Doctor will get the 456 to show themselves. He got the Daleks to show themselves just before I died for the first time."

"How did that work out?" asked Owen.

"Everyone one on the space station and nearly everyone on Earth died," said Jack. "Not good, huh?"

"We're fucking hosed," said Owen.


	9. Chapter 9

Author's Note: I don't own Torchwood. BBC does.

xxxx

"Ianto wanted war," said Jack. "He is going to get it.'

"The Doctor called the 456 a junkie," said Owen. "That means they'll kill everyone on the planet, if they don't get their fix. So-called normal people will do crazy things to get their drugs."

They made it to the front door. Several dead bodies were resting against it or close to it as if people died trying to leave. Panic. If they had enough time to get to the entrance, they could have got hazmat suits. There should have been several hazmat suits waiting in storage since a building this size would have more than one. At least, most of the people in the building had left before lock down. It could have been worse - a lot worse.

Jack said, "Owen, are you OK?"

"The janitor got a hazmat suit," said Owen. "In the time they ran to the door, they could have gotten protective equipment. A waste."

"I'm sorry." Jack put an arm around Owen.

"One survivor means they all could have made it," said Owen. "I could have saved them if I wasn't locked in that bloody room. UNIT better win this thing. I don't want to be trapped on this planet with only you for company."

"I feel the same way," Jack teased back.

"Back to Clem," said Owen. "How do we find another Clem? There must be one child on the planet that said, 'we are coming' on Monday then hit puberty. Someone the 456 doesn't want because of hormones."

"But how do we find that child?" said Jack. "They want the children tomorrow. We don't have time."

"Can it be any child? Or just a child on the cusp of puberty?" asked Owen, more thinking out loud then talking to Jack.

Jack said, "Frobisher's older daughter looks about the right age."

"I don't want to know how you know the ages of Frobisher's children," said Owen. Finally, they left the building and were in the fresh air, again. He couldn't take a breath, but he could smell the difference in air quality from inside to outside the building.

If things didn't go well, it would be just Jack, him, the naturally immune and people safe in sealed environments left on the planet. Earth would recover. The human race would recover. Since Diane was no longer in Flat Holm in an underground bunker breathing recycled air, she would die if they failed. They had to win for Diane. When they got to the MI5 building, the lady that had encased Jack in concrete was there with a bunch of other people holding guns.

Owen lifted up his shirt. "Been there, done that."

"What are you?" asked the lady.

"A waste product," said Owen. "Nothing."

The lady and the others put their guns down.

"Thank you. I rather not have another bullet hole to add to my collection," said Owen.

Gwen ran over to Jack and hugged him.

"Ianto?" asked Jack.

"He's safe," said Gwen. "And Rhys took the computer to a safe location."

A flying saucer, for lack of a better description, appeared overhead. The Doctor made good on his word.

"Clem?" asked Jack.

"He died," said Gwen. "We watched it happen."

"I may need to repeat his death with a child on the cusp of puberty." Jack wrapped an arm around Gwen. "I hope UNIT will give us a military victory and we won't have to sacrifice a child."

"It's a backup plan." Gwen leaned against Jack as they walked into the building. "Let's not worry about that for now."

"I need to take you three into custody," said the lady.

"As long as I get a cell near Miss Habiba," said Jack. "I would like to thank her in person."

xxxx

Gwen and Owen were put in the cell with Lois while Jack was told to back away by the armed men. The door of the cell slammed, locking them in. Lois hugged Gwen. "Where's your husband?"

"He has the data and is safe," said Gwen.

Lois stopped hugging Gwen. "That's good."

"Jack thanks you," said Gwen. "This is Owen. He also works for Torchwood."

Owen offered her his good hand. "Dr. Owen Harper."

"Lois Habiba." Lois shook his hand. "Cold hands, warm heart."

"I don't know about that." Owen put his hand to his side. "The fate of the whole planet was in my hands a few minutes ago and I was thinking about my girlfriend. I'm a selfish twit when push comes to shove."

"I told Jack I would rescue his daughter and grandson," said Gwen. "We're saving the world, so you can hug your girlfriend. So parents can hug their children. That doesn't make you selfish."

Owen sat on the floor. "You and Lois can share the bed."

"A gentleman, too," said Lois. "The floor can't be comfortable."

"I'm covered in a hard plastic shell," Owen deadpanned. "I won't scratch."

"He's joking," said Lois.

"You shook his hand," said Gwen. "You tell me."

"They put us together, so we would talk," said Owen. "Let's talk about your boyfriend, my girlfriend, Gwen and Rhys expecting their first. Bore the hell out of Johnson and her friends."

"You were the one that mentioned trying to save the world," said Lois.

"They know what I did in the past," said Owen. "It was all recorded, rewound and repeated. They can watch me fail at opening the tank with a fire extinguisher in slow motion all they like. Do you have anyone special?"

"Not really," said Lois.

"Gwen, since we have time to kill, do you want to know why I dress as a girl for work?" Owen asked, but he was going to talk either way. "Because I feel like Tammy Faye under all this make-up. I know no one can see it, but I know it is there. You happy now?"

"Owen, we all have insecurities." Gwen patted the bed.

"You and Rhys. That's wonderful news." Owen sat on the bed beside Gwen and took her hand.

"Are you upset it isn't yours?" teased Gwen.

"No, you and Rhys would have raised it as yours," said Owen. "According to some statistic I read, 1 out of 5 children born to married mothers in England (or was it the UK?) have a blood type that indicates that their mother's current husband isn't their father. And that is based on blood type alone."

"You two?" said Lois.

"What of it?" asked Owen.

"He's very different from your husband," said Lois.

"That was the point," said Gwen. "Rhys and I weren't married back then, but it was still wrong. I had to live with my guilt. I wanted to tell Rhys, but that would have only hurt him."

"This affair is over?" asked Lois.

"Yes, I couldn't take my guilt anymore and broke it off. The sex was great. Sex with my husband is also good." Gwen smiled that gap-tooth smile of hers.

Owen said nothing no matter how much he wanted to comment because he could no longer sleep, drink or have sex, so commenting on Gwen stumbling over her words was pointless.

Lois said, "You still want him."

"I don't," said Gwen. "Rhys and I are expecting a baby."

"You do," said Lois.

"A little." Gwen smiled.

"Owen wanted us to bore the people listening to us," said Lois. "And you are giving them an earful."

"Have you ever had sex with someone that you knew was wrong, but the sex was so good that you didn't care?" asked Gwen.

Lois said, "Once or twice."

"Do tell," said Owen.

"You just want to get out of the spotlight," said Lois.

"I'm with Diane now. I'm in a committed relationship and..." Owen stood up and walked as far away from Gwen as he could get in the small cell. He looked at his shoes. "Tell the dead man he was good in bed because that will really make his day. We can't talk about the 456 no matter how much it is on our minds because that's what they want. 456 can't kill me because I'm already dead, so my worries are bit different than yours."

Lois asked, "How did you die?"

"I got between a friend and a bullet," said Owen. "I would do it, again. A totally ordinary death. Mundane - no breath-sucking travelers or flesh-eating shapeshifters. Both went yuck - dead bloke."

"Why the plastic?" Lois asked.

"Makeup smears," said Owen. "The plastic has the added benefit of keeping me dry and clean."

"What about your head?" asked Lois.

"I usually wear a wig when I leave the house. So my hair and scalp also stay clean." Owen didn't want to tell the people listening that he didn't heal. Let them think that he could be blasted and keep going after them like the zombies in films.

"You have it down to a science," said Lois. "How did you end up undead?"

"I'm dead." Owen returned to sitting on the floor. "One word: Jack."

"You can't leave it there," Lois said, sitting on the bed near Gwen.

Owen told Lois about the Resurrected Gloves, including all the boring details about Suzie, which included his brief affair with Suzie. An hour or so later, the door opened. Johnson said, "Loverboy, you get your own cell."

Owen let her lead him to another cell. The handcuffs were scratching the plastic. It would need to be reapplied when he got home and tissue underneath the plastic could be bruised.

When she removed the cuffs, she said, "Zombie, your skin is flaking off."

"That's plastic and makeup," said Owen. It would have to be the wrist of his good hand. "I use a specially designed polymer. But outside wood sealant would do in a pinch."

After he was locked in for the night, Johnson said, "I'll see what I can do."

xxxx

The following morning, Owen was let out. "No cuffs this time."

"The British prisons are designed for people with heartbeats. If you promise not to commit treason, again, you're free to go. We still have your pregnant girlfriend behind bars."

"She isn't carrying my baby," said Owen.

"Your emotions betray you," said Johnson.

"Rewind the tape," said Owen. "She talked about jumping me. I said nothing about jumping her."

"You care, so you won't do anything foolish."

Owen was led outside. "Don't I get a bus ticket?"

"You can call your current girlfriend." Johnson handed him her mobile phone. "I don't get it. You aren't that much. Then teenagers dig vampire films. Dead must be sexy. The phone call is on me."

Owen reached Diane and gave her directions to meet him at a bookstore. He had no money and couldn't eat, so a coffee shop was out. He wouldn't look too odd browsing in a bookstore, so it worked. Johnson escorted him to said bookstore then left him there to wait.

xxxx

Diane hugged him when she arrived then lead him to the car. "You OK?"

"I wanted to get you something special," said Owen. "How about we stop for bananas?"

"You buying me bananas with my money isn't a present," said Diane.

"The world could be ending today," said Owen. "So let's not fight."

Diane looked at his wrist after she parked the car in the car-park. "You can't go to work with that."

"After I have Barbara fix it," said Owen, "it will be as good as new."


	10. Epilogue

Author's Note: I don't own Torchwood. BBC does.

Epilogue

The world didn't end that night. Owen didn't know if UNIT was able to blow 456 from the sky or if Jack stopped the 456 by killing Frobisher's elder daughter or some other child; however, the sun rose the next day while Owen was playing WOW (World of Warcraft).

Jack wasn't there when Owen went to see the ruins of the hub bright and early Monday morning. Owen phoned Ianto. "Jack isn't here."

"Frobisher killed his wife, his daughters then himself," explained Ianto. "Jack had to send the resonating frequency through Stephen. There wasn't time to find another child. Jack had to kill his grandson to save the world. He isn't in a good place right now. You can scour the ruin for alien artifacts without us."

"No way," said Owen. "If I get hurt, I don't heal."

"I can't talk now," said Ianto. "I need to be with him."

"Are Gwen and Lois free?" asked Owen.

"Lois was fired for insubordination and a bunch of other things, but she said she could get a new job - there is only one planet Earth," explained Ianto. "Gwen and Rhys are back home and talking about getting a bigger place."

They were talking bigger house and not talking divorce. Then Lois wasn't wearing the contact lenses. Gwen couldn't retcon her way out this time. If Rhys did overhear everything in the cell due to the lipreading software, then he might also understand that Gwen was wanting someone that no longer existed because blood no longer flowed to his penis or any other organ in Owen's body.

"The 456 are gone?" Owen needed to ask.

"All dead," said Ianto. "Stephen died saving all the Earth's children. The resonating frequency worked."

"Give Jack my love."

Owen pocketed the phone then took the bus to the hospital to start his shift. Gwen had his number if she wanted to get started on cleaning up the bomb site. Owen had worked at the hospital both Saturday and Sunday, so this was his third day back.

Martha phoned, "Ianto called me. Mickey and I have been combing the site for alien artifacts since returning from our honeymoon. We can go over our findings together."

"Tonight is good," said Owen. "Diane would love to have dinner with someone who can actually eat for a change."

"I shouldn't have said the energy keeping you animated would eventually stop," said Martha. "We don't know."

"My body is wearing out," said Owen. "My lack of pain means I'm unaware of the micro-tears and other damage my body receives. As I told Tosh before I saw a way out, I'm good. I really am OK with it."

"How long?" asked Martha.

"At the rate of decay, another year or two at best. Don't cry for me. I'm dead, so each day is a blessing. I'll see you tonight."

The End


End file.
